Tuesday, February 19, 2008

ETHIOPIA-not africa


Ok, so Ethiopia IS actually in Africa, but what I mean by the title is that every part of every place is different from every other part of that place, and every other place as well, and so you have to look at every place you are looking at as different, and not the same, so Ethiopia and Africa are not actually the same place. Thats right, and I know we've all heard this before, but were all different, and when it comes to places we know almost nothing about, those differences can be a whole lot bigger than you thought, or at least I thought, because I always thought of myself as fairly thoughtful, but the thought never crossed my mind that I didn’t actually know anything about Africa, let alone Ethiopia. Sure we all know one or two things about one or two of the 50 odd countries in Africa, and at least we can all agree that its Dangerous, we all know that much for certain, and we know there are elephants there as well, which is too bad that its so dangerous, because we all like elephants and it would be nice to be able to go see them right? Wrong, well not about the elephants, its true we do all like elephants, but most of everything else, even if it is right about some places is not right for all places, for example, not all places in Africa are covered in elephants, so actually its wrong for most places, which gives us a positive wrong value, and a negative correct value, the sum of which equals we don't know what the hell were talking about, and more research is necessary. Luckily, I'm just the guy to go get the data, mostly by ignorantly putting myself into dangerous positions, and measuring the outcome in terms of "harm incurred". What I am obliquely referring to here is my uncanny ability to get any and all types of major stomach problems while traveling mostly due to the fact that I spend a lot of my time while traveling actually actively seeking out unusual things to eat, smoke, chew, drink, or otherwise ingest. What I’m driving at here is that if I can manage to survive traveling someplace in spite of being constantly debilitated, dehydrated, and delirious with diarrhea, then someone who, say, orders the spaghetti, as opposed to, say, the raw minced camel fat, probably stands a pretty good chance of making it out alive. The bigger point in all of this is that the most dangerous thing you are likely to encounter in a supposedly dangerous place is probably something like a fruit salad, not "Terrorists" (camel fat, incidentally, is delicious).
Getting back to Ethiopia, it really is a unique place, and definitely worth visiting. It's surprising actually, that Ethiopia isn't better known in the west, unfortunately most of the associations people make with the place are negative ones. For a country of over 80 million people, one of the most culturally diverse, historically powerful empires in Africa, the place is practically ignored. In Camilla Gibbs novel "sweetness in the belly" one of her characters, an Ethiopian refugee living in London, observes that his countries relative obscurity is due to the fact that, "there is nothing left there for the world to exploit". Thanks to almost 30 years of communist totalitarianism this is partly true, we can only hope that the world doesn’t start to exploit their culture, Ethiopia really could be left with nothing.
Happily, as of this time, Ethiopia has all the things which make for a great place to travel. It has unusual food, interesting sights, and friendly people, lots and lots of people. The country is roughly the same size as British Columbia, and it has 80 million people in it. I was marveling at the fact that a country which is a fraction the size of our own could have two and a half times as many people, when some German friends pointed out that Ethiopia is roughly twice the size of their own country, but has more or less the same population. However, Addis Ababa, the capitol, has only about 4 million people in it, the next most populous city, Dire Dawa, has only 400,ooo, the next after that far fewer again, so where do all those people live? In contrast to a place like the United States and Canada, the majority of the population live outside of cities. In fact, when you go anywhere by road, it almost feels like you are driving through a never ending village with varying degrees of density until eventually you find yourself in the next city. It has to be a pretty arid and inhospitable region for it not to have been settled in Ethiopia. Even in the Danakil Depression, in the north east of the country, the part of the Earth most resembling Hell, the Afar nomads scratch out a living in the salt flats amongst the volcanoes and sulphur lakes, supplementing their income by extorting money from tourists and scientists who come there not prepared to find anyone.
I was traveling with my good friend Andre, and toward the end of our stay we went out towards the far east of the country, near Somalia. We went to visit Harar, an ancient walled city, regarded as one of the holy cities of Islam. During the week we were there, we decided to get out of the city one day, and go visit the camel market in nearby Babile. We crammed into a crowded minibus and took the hour long drive down the winding gravel road to get there, stopping here and there to pick up beautiful market bound young Somali women who tormented the guys flirtatiously. We arrived in a dusty town circled by a rocky ridge barely visible through the brown haze. We walked down to the corral, where the nomads would be gathering their livestock to be brokered in the afternoon. We took shelter from the sun at the local cafĂ©, Somali style, which consisted of some woven plastic mats spread out on the gravel next to some thorny bushes, with a shredded tarp roof suspended between twisted tree branches bleached and cracking in the sun. We happily joined a group of men already sitting chewing chat, an addiction I had picked up myself during the past month and a half, and the proprietor, a colorfully dressed and beautiful Somali woman bought us sugary weak tea. While we were killing time waiting for the camels to show up I took the opportunity to do a watercolor of one of the older guys we were sitting with which turned out to lead to all sorts of good humor, as upon completion, he first declared that he should receive payment for his services as a model, and secondly that he should be given the watercolor of his likeness as a gift for his hospitality. Naturally I refused on both counts, and the matter had to be settled by the group, who were already in fits of laughter not only because they found my likeness of their friend to be particularly amusing (it was a hot day, and chat in the morning shows in the eyes), but also because he had only consented to model on the condition that he would kill me if he was displeased with the outcome, and now he seemed to have mixed feelings on the matter. We had brought an interpreter with us from Harar who spoke Somali and English very well, and after some negotiating it was decided I would buy the man 5 birr of chat for his services, but retain the watercolor, and live. Our model, pressing the issue, insisted that we should send money later from Canada, which sent out guide into uncontrollable laughter when the man could provide only his first name and a nickname for an address. Fearing our guide should loose too much moisture through tears of laughter in such a forbidding environment, I decided It would only be prudent for us to pay for our tea and carry on. Besides it was only 9:30, and the temptation to start the daily chewing session was coming too early. By this time the corral was full of sharp looking cattle and camels. What I couldn’t understand and what still perplexes me now is how these people manage to get their livestock so fat. Never in my life have I seen bulls as massive as these, giant humps of fat over the shoulders, and huge thick haunches, no bone visible whatsoever, with skin so tight that if the animal was hollow it would make a terrific drumming sound, but nowhere, as far as the eye could see, was there ANYTHING that looked like it could be eaten. A total mystery to me.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Operation Distillation


Finally, now I'll never have to go to the liguor store or the gas station ever again. Of course I'll have to go buy propane and sugar and yeast and all kinds of other stuff, and then theres the 17 hour runs and so on, but maybe we could just automate the whole damn thing, and I could operate it remotely fronm my laptop. Wait a minute this is starting to sound like another project OMG WTF, why cant i just concentrate on painting...

Monday, January 14, 2008

The Night Watch with my dad as Count Dracula and a 130 pound Raccoon


click on the image to see a full size version, I'll have to explain why Rembrandts painting is better this way some other time, I have guests over.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

The Year of the Amphibian


Welcome to the 2oo8th year in the gregorian calendar, international year of amphibian conservation. While I myself am not an amphibian, the above image (kindly provided by Kevin Lionais), shows how I am hungry. A state which hasn't changed much since last year. Speaking of being hungry last year, one of the last exciting things I did in 2oo7 (of the gregorian calendar), was eat my first real mexican food in Mexico. I also earned the distinction of being one of the first people ever to nearly freeze to death in Mexico (it was windy), which would have been ironic, considering the other perils people usually picture in association with the place. Going with the food theme, brings me to what I really wanted to blog about which is the Watts Towers in LA which I got to visit also near the end of 2oo7, but I was unable to tour because, my mother, whom accompanied me there, had forgotten her credit card the previous night at a restaurant, due, I believe to excessive alcohol consumption, which in turn was probably related to the stress of having to spend all day in a car on the freeway in LA with her son behind the wheel (by the time that my brother and I had parked the car and joined her at the table she had already plowed through two martinis) which indirectly led to us having to spend the following entire day in traffic also, as we had to drive all the way back across LA from Santa Monica to Long Beach in order to retrieve the missing credit card, meaning there was insufficient time left in the days schedule for me to tour the Watts towers. Incidentally the food was excellent, I had the Yellowfin tuna steak, just barely cooked on the outside, I cant remember the name of the place though. so the pictures are: Nogales, Sonora, Mexico / My mom in front of the Watts towers / A palm tree at 60 miles per hour / and a yellowfin tuna at regular speed in that order.



Thursday, October 18, 2007

Another thing

In response to those of you have been wondering, just because I'm unemployed at the moment doesn't mean I sit around and do nothing all day. I know it seems like I've been spending the majority of my time obsessing over animals of some sort or another, in someplace or other, away from home, but actually, i do other things as well.
Click the images to see BIGGER versions.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

M O N T R E A L


I just got back from Montreal where I spent two weeks visiting Megan who recently moved there because its fashionable to do so. Not only is it fashionable, but it's also economical, rent is cheap, and you can eat for free any day of the week at the Peoples Potato, where they let you cut in line if you bring your own tupperware dish. Also, Megan is currently living large off of Concordia bursaries (take that anyone who thinks you have to be a francophone to get free money in Quebec) so if it wasn't for buying booze, it would more or less be free to live there. In fact, if you made your own booze, you'd actually be making money. Like any third world country, Montreal has a high unemployment rate, and major problems with their infrastructure, but the hassles are well worth dealing with as you soak up the enchanting atmosphere and enjoy the colorful street life.They take thier night life very seriously in Montreal, and with a bar on every corner, and more live bands than you can shake a drum stick at, going out to party is an obligatory part of the experience. This Liquor store perfectly illustrates my point. Thats right, it looks like some sort of train station or town hall or something, Infact I was going to write about how in Montreal they've found creative new uses for a lot of old buildings and so on, but it turns out the place was built to be a liquor store (Note that its the nicest building in the neighborhood). Now a lot of people will tell you to go party on St. Laurent, or to have a coffee in little Italy, or this and that, but the truth is the best time to be had in Montreal is feeding the raccoons at the lookout point in the park. Go at dusk, bring Cheetos.
This being the first time I've been out east in a while, naturally I was anxious to do all those things you can't do west of the Rockies, and no, I don't mean eating putine, you can get that in vancouver too, what I mean is catching a catfish. Unfortunately it rained on that little adventure, the St. Lawrence did however produce on one of the other aquatic vertebrates I had hoped to encounter which was this little baby snapping turtle. Too cute for soup, we realesed the lucky little guy unharmed, although I did reconsider it later. Although Montreal doesn't have as much money floating around as we do here in the west, at least the money they do have seems to be going to some of the right places. In Vancouver all the money gets turned into glass towers and hideous condo developments. In Montreal they have things like the Canadian Centre for Architecture, and the Musee de beaux Art, and everyone just lives in regular houses.
In Vancouver people drive their Bentley to go pick up their miniature short haired dachshund from the pet pedicureist down the street. In Montreal people go to the bar at night. Different values. Incidentally, my friends Colin and Cabiri also just moved to Montreal (its fashionable), and while I was there Colin let me paint his portrait.
Email me for a cute Raccoons of Montreal photo album you can use as a screen saver.
thats all for now.

In Search of the Miraculous


Those of you who know me are familiar with the idea that I had to ride my scooter to Montreal this fall. Now alot of you have told me not to do it, that it would be dangerous and insane, and that my scooter would break down somewhere in the middle of saskatchewan and that.. well actually at this point in the conversation most of you would just shudder and then go back to something like, "look erik, just dont do it". Scooter problems aside, and yes, I understand that some of you guys are engineers, the general consensus was that it is a "bad idea". What most of you don't realize though is that I had this idea while attempting to ride my BICYCLE to Montreal, and that is what I would classify as a "much much worse idea". Thankfully, that idea wasn't mine, but belongs instead to my good friend Phil, who deserves to be either applauded, or to have his head examined, for having actually done it. Phil rode his bicycle clear across the continent, from the pacific to the atlantic. I dropped out after the Rockies, and took the bus home from Banff. I often cite this as an example of my ability to make good descisions when confronted with the "look erik, just dont do it" arguement. Anyway, the point is that, relatively speaking, riding my scooter to Montreal seems like "not that bad an idea", and actually kinda fun. Along the way I would get to visit my friend Mark in Winnipeg, and I would get to test my mental stamina against a Boring incredible for its colossal singularity (yes I used boring as a noun). Also, the trip would make a modest homage to Bas Jan Ader, a Dutch Californian conceptual artist from the seventies, who is most famous for his final performance in which he set out across the atlantic in a 13 foot sail boat, "In Search of the Miraculous", and disappeared at sea. (his boat was later recovered by the Irish coast guard or something, but his fate remains a mystery) Ader brought with him a copy of Hegels "the Phenomenology of the Spirit", which I have not read, but I now carry a copy of around in my scooter with the dedication on the inside cover "never forget". Which brings me back to Montreal (Je me souviens), and that I ended up taking the plane just because I felt pressed for time. Even at 70 kms an hour it would still take at least 10 days to ride from Vancouver to Montreal, but I still intend to do so sometime, regardless of what you engineers tell me.